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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26653726">Lupin III: A Stone-Cold Party Crasher</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Simply_Ck/pseuds/Simply_Ck'>Simply_Ck</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Batman - All Media Types, Lupin III</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Action, Action/Adventure, Adventure, Crimes &amp; Criminals, Criminal Masterminds, Gotham City Police Department, Mystery, POV Third Person</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 10:28:23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>6,843</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26653726</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Simply_Ck/pseuds/Simply_Ck</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Gotham City is a mess, but a rich mess of heroes, villains, but most importantly, loot. And tonight, the Iceberg Lounge faces threat under the Lupin Gang in this Lupin III and Batman Crossover! Watch in awe, wonder, excitement, at this recent scheme from these dastardly thieves! Oneshot.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>21</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Lupin III: A Stone-Cold Party Crasher</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>
  <span>Jigen Daisuke was a man who, over this long, terrible career as a gun-for-hire and thief, has seen a lotta crap. Mountains of gold, long lost treasure, Leonardo Da Vinci, hell, every other damn night one of his “pals” pulls some miracle out of their ass. It was just sort of how the job went. It paid well, so might as well accept it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But man, out of all the idiotic, hare-brained schemes his buddy had…”Gotham. You really wanna rob a place...in Gotham.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why noooot!” Lupin did that obnoxious thing where he leaned right to his face. Jigen puffed some smoke in his face to get him to back off. “Come on Jigen! The city where crime never sleeps! Weapons and cash galore to steal!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re leaving out the part where it’s populated by freaks.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Pssh, come ooon. Jigen, I didn’t know you were a quitter!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s called not being suicidal. Look, no matter what priceless jewel you found, no way I’m getting involved with some costumed bums.” Yep, definitely not gonna get involved in this. Just gonna kick his legs up, tip his hat down, and sleep. “That’s a few million above my paygrade.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Lupin did his laugh. You know the one, that stupid confident chuckle. He rocked the car with all his excitement.  “Hear me out, it’ll be an easy million. No crazy guys with freeze guns, no laughing clowns-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Doubtful about that one with you around. But,” They were pretty bored after the last few jewel heists. A change of pace wouldn’t be too bad. Lupin was usually full of crap though so the possibility of a smooth ride was probably out the window. “Screw it, the hell’s your plan.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Geheheh, trust me, you’re gonna love this.” Lupin turned the car on, the engine roaring to life. Looks like he wasn’t gonna get a damn nap after all. “Ever heard of the Iceberg Lounge?”</span>
</p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>
      <span class="u">Lupin III!</span>
    </em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>
      <span class="u"> A Stone-Cold Party Crasher!</span>
    </em>
  </strong>
</p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>Goddamn he was always given the worst jobs. Jigen stood in front of probably the second most poisonous thing in the world: the city’s most outmost entrance to the Gotham City Sewers. Seriously, if the fact it wasn’t a big ass sewer was bad enough, the slimiest, scummiest members of criminal society lurked around selling all sorts of crap. Drugs, weapons. Gambling on some nights. “Fun” place. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Combined with the rumors of all sorts of freaky mutants and costumed idiots running around, Jigen was in no mood to stay here any longer. So, might as well get this over with; this was gonna be a long walk. Jigen walked in, making sure to stay as far away from the sewage as possible. Thankfully the smoke from his cigarette dulled the worst of that crap.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alright first things first, he had to make his way towards the center of the city. According to their research, the system has zero security, meaning it’ll only take an hour or two to get there. Fine with him, he sure as hell wasn’t gonna run around with this big backpack on him. Thing weighed a freakin’ ton; he was really regretting packing so much but you never know in this damn town. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Gotham. The name alone ticked him off. Every pig headed, stubborn, crazy thug this side of America was from Gotham, and every last one of them was a pain in the ass to deal with. Gotham guys were a rude, ill mannered, dumb and cowardly bunch, meaning they were cheap to hire, and if you got one, you had a bunch. And here he was in their breeding grounds. Eugh. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Get a hold of yourself Jigen, just Shit City.” He mumbled to himself, as all calm people do. Can’t believe he was down here doing the dirty work while Lupin yucked it up with everyone else up there. Sure as hell wished he was napping around now though. He’d take a long sleep in the car over messing around with the Gotham rats in some crappy hole-</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>
    <em>Splash splash splash!</em>
  </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“-and so I’s talked to the boss, and he’s gots us somethin’ big.” Crap. Speak of the rats, and they’ll crawl their scrawny asses over. He pressed himself against the wall as two bozos came walking around the corner. Thankfully they were heading across, not in his direction. “Youse be surprised how fast he got this one, its a real money winner too.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah yeah, just spill the beans.” Man, and he thought Lupin’s suits were crap. Who the hell wears black and white clothes like that? Especially with those crappy hats. “I wanna hear if it’s actually a damn cash grab.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh it fuckin’ is, ya chump.” The two bashed into each other before continuing. “Apparently the boss learned from a reliable source that a certain fat bastard’s throwing a dinner for all the rich punks around town.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, and? We already fucking know that dumbass why waste-” That guy got a smack upside the head for his efforts.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“ ‘Cause, ya palooka, there’s somethin’ not in the papers: Fatty’s bringin’ out a fancy jewel to show off, a family heirloom or somethin’, accordin’ to this broad the boss knows. So if it’s the ol’ </span>
  <b>
    <em>Arctic Gem</em>
  </b>
  <span>-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Then hot damn, that is a cash grab. The bastard hardly has any hired help these days after goin’ “clean” so then...yeah! And hey don’t fucking smack me again you-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Once they left earshot Jigen let out a big sigh. Freakin’ unbelievable. This was gonna complicate things a ton, especially if that “broad” was who he thought she was. Fantastic, now there were more of those freaks slapped onto this job.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jigen wasn’t a racist towards supers or anything, but his hatred for the bastards went way back. Missions with the freaks always went south real bad; few years ago, they tried robbing this manor outside another circus town, Central City. Real nice place, run by your usual corrupt politician type. Took three days to pull it off, and right after they drove away, some punk jumped outta rear view mirror, stole their loot and jumped back in. Guy stole nearly a week’s worth of work in five seconds. So, yeah, he didn’t like supers. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Damn, things were getting real loud up there. Jigen paused for a moment to listen to the sound of cars rumbling overhead. Sirens screaming, cars screeching. Not really his kinda party, actually, so maybe the sewer crap was a bit better.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He walked along a bit more. Smoked a few cigs, dropped a few cigs. Aside from those guys before, the trip was...well, as quiet as you could get in this dump. Man, where the hell was he anyway? This went on for-ah, friggin’ finally. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Right ahead of him was, to any normal bozo, some kinda dead end for the pipe. Just some crappy section to turn around and a pipe spilling out some clean water. But Jigen wasn’t your average bozo. He got close to the pipe, and climbed ontop of it. Now for the tricky part. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Unzipping his backpack revealed the source of his weight woes: several packs of c4, some tape, and a measuring stick. He stuck the stick onto the ceiling, and checked it: right, two red marks, and two green. Time for the red first. Carefully, he attached two of the explosive packs, one for each line. Use the green lines to match things up, repeat to the other side and presto, explosive rectangle. Now attach the friggin’ other two by the pipes and presto again, some other damn shape.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alright well that settled that, might as well get the hell outta here. Taking the now happily lighter backpack with him,  Jigen began the long trek back. And damn, things were definitely heating up above him. Thankfully not literally. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <b>
    <em>KROOM! KROOOM! </em>
  </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The ceiling above him started shaking after a few minutes of walking. Sirens were going wild above as well, followed by a cascade of some lousy semi auto gunfire. Whatever the hell was being shot at kept moving, meaning so should he. Fast.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jigen sprinted past a manhole entrance and the center of the damn rumbling. Already he whipped out his gun: whatever the hell was up there was probably coming his way. In seconds a deafening </span>
  <b>
    <em>KA-KOW! </em>
  </b>
  <span>echoed behind him. A manhole cover was just slammed into the ground. Yep, bastard was coming this way. Already a scaley, clawed hand straight out of a crappy flick was trying to make its way down.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alright, let’s assess the shitfest here Jigen. Big scary bastard that’s one hundred percent impervious to bullets is making his way down. All he had was his normal revolver, his wits, and a crappy sewer with no real escape from a monster that probably lived down here. Well, guess he had one damn option.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sorry pal, no sewer gators allowed.” He said to a monster that definitely wasn’t listening to him with all the gunfire. Aiming at the fallen manhole cover, he pulled the trigger. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>
    <em>SKARINK!</em>
  </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The bullet hit the manhole cover, ricocheting upwards. It bounced back after hitting the edge of the entrance and landed right in the freak’s god ugly face. The monster roared in response and pulled its claw up to attack the guy’s who definitely shot him like that, yep. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Well, he’d give the boys in blue his luck but franky he needed all he could spare today so, off he went. Jigen booked it out as fast as he could, lighting another cigarette as he went. Or, tried to. Damn thing was having issues with all the sewer dampness. Goddamn it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Gotham was friggin’ godawful.</span>
</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>ICPO Inspector Koichi Zenigata had traveled the world looking for that stinkin’ Lupin the Third. Gotham City was just another stop. Man, what a weird place though. His first experience with the famed American City of Crime was...something else.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah no, this Lupin chump? He ain’t comin’. Probably some fake, nobody worth their salt robs the goddamn Iceberg Lounge.” Detective Harvey Bullock, his “partner” for his chase here, was probably one of the crudest guys he’s seen in his whole career. He’s seen the type before, the type of cop who really fit the “pig” name-calling. “I’ve been here for years, you just don’t rob the Lounge. You’re riskin’, what, pissin’ off most of the local mobs, most of the rich folks, and ol’ Cobblepot himself so they hunt ya for the rest of your life, for what, some jewelry? Your guy wouldn’t risk it for some rock tonight.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He’s done worse. Trust me here, I’ve got as much experience as you do on the streets when it comes to Lupin.” He looked down on a note, a note he’s quite familiar with. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I’ll be taking the biggest crystal in the Iceberg Lounge tonight Try and stop me! ~Lupin III</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“If he’s got his eyes on somethin’, he’s going to try his damndest to get it. Heh, so don’t be too sure on him playin’ it smart. Alright now, come on, let’s check in with the boys.”  They’ve been driving to the Lounge for a few minutes now, waiting to meet up with the other officers to check things out. They only had a short time before the party, so they had to be…”Ah hell.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>If his trusted fellow ICPO troops weren’t already inside lookin’ around, that sure as hell wasn’t a good sign. Neither was the miniature army of tuxedo clad guards in front of the door. Their car screeched up to the front of the lounge and he jumped right out. “Alright, what’s the big idea here buster!? We’re on official ICPO business, can’t ya see?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The massive beefcake apparently in charge of this blockade didn’t even glance at his badge. “Listen pal, I don’t give two shits what stupid ass orginization ya apart of. I have orders. Nobody gets in; nobody gets out. Paparazzi.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And I’m a damn detective! I’ll tell ya right now mister, this gem of yours ain’t gonna stay another night here with a setup like this. A couple of bozos in cheap suits isn’t going to deter Lupin, not one bit-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Alright, pack your stuff boys, move out.” Already Bullock had turned back. “We ain’t getting any damn work done here tonight.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“The hell are you doing?” It was when Bullock turned to glare at him that he caught a glint. A clever glint: he knew where this was going, and decided to play along. “Are you some kinda damn coward?! We can’t just let these bastards get away with it!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But we damn well can. Cobblepot’s one of the most powerful men in Gotham. He owns most of the companies around here, keeps many people’s pockets flowing, and if given the chance, he’ll take you down. Nothin’ to worry about right? Or is there a reason why you haven’t been able to  catch Lupin?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Oh he’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>good. </span>
  </em>
  <span>He heard rumors about the second banana of GCPD detectives, but this was far beyond his hopes. Instantly he got a furious face and marched towards Bullock. “Lousy fat slob, what kinda cop are ya! Scared of just a-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I must say Mr. Zenigata, you’re quite bold for the new fish in town.” Presto, right on time. He turned to see, appropriately waddling out of the door, a small stout man. His face was monstrous, with sharp teeth and a pointy nose outta kids’ cartoon. He didn’t dare laugh, though. It would’ve been suicidal, especially now. “You ICPO men are so bold these days. Perhaps all that fame’s gone to your head.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ahem, s-sorry, Mr. Cobblepot. We were just, you know, frustrated about not being let inside-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hm, no worries, I figured a chump like you didn’t know the food chain around here.” Oswald Cobblepot’s wit was just as sharp as he expected. Zenigata felt the need to punch him, but the need to catch Lupin far surpassed that. “But you’ll learn fast who to properly respect. Now, come on. We just finished washing the floors so don’t drag your dirty shoes all over the damn place. And, only you two by the way. I don’t like the look of your men one bit.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He turned back to face his troops: they’d be fine, if worse came to worse they were ready. So, with Bullock behind him, they followed Cobblepot into the Lounge. Right, the Iceberg Lounge. It was definitely one of the fancier places in Gotham, if not this side of America. It was also one of the seediest; the ICPO had records of just about every major American based villain, thief, criminal, you name it, having at least a dinner here. But no matter what happened, this damn place couldn’t close down. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cobblepot was to blame. The Penguin, as he was known a few years back before he went “clean”, was one of four big crime kingpins in Gotham, with a reach far greater than Zenigata liked to think about. Then one fateful battle with that vigilante Batman tossed him in the clanker, and he came out a free changed, and stupidly rich man. He didn’t like it one bit: no man in Gotham was really “clean” if they had that much money. Which reminded him…</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sorry about earlier, er, Mr. Cobblepot. We just need a quick look around the place, as well as a list of who’s coming. Lupin has a history of disguises, so we’ll need to check your staff-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Already handled. The guards, kitchen staff, even the bloody entertainment of the night, all personally checked by yours truly. Do you take me for an idiot, inspector? That I don’t have the </span>
  <em>
    <span>wisdom </span>
  </em>
  <span>to predict this...this...</span>
  <em>
    <span>chimp</span>
  </em>
  <span>?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zenigata got an umbrella cane to the side. Nothing too painful, but it stung. Bullock grit his teeth but refused to act; smart move. They were a guest in this monster’s lair, best not piss off the midget dragon. Or however the hell that saying went. “N-not at all. Just routine things. Now, about the actual object in question…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ah yes, the Arctic Gem, my family jewel. The Cobblepot family held onto it for generations, so don’t expect a bloody thief to steal it easily. Especially,” Cobblepot cackled and took something out of his pocket: a small diamond the size of his palm. A very unique color too, a cold blue. Definitely the right one. “With it in my bloody hands~ Of course, the thing will be placed for all my guests to see, but rest assured, this Lupin bloke won’t get it easy.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Keeping it with him. Not a bad play, especially with such a hefty jacket. Lupin was a master thief, but such a small guy like Cobblepot would know if someone tried to reach inside his jacket. A lot of things could go wrong, but for now, far from a bad play. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bullock meanwhile looked unconvinced. Very unconvinced at the diamond. “Ya know, I heard a lotta things about the Arctic Gem; that it was the size of a damn torso, and ya had to carry it with both arms. Ain’t that kinda...small?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don’t even speak of those myths to me, detective.” Cobblepot growled and slid the gem back into his coat. “It was the 20s, when mankind believed the moon was a bloody resort and flying cars would appear by the late century. Exaggerations, detective. Bloody exaggerations. Now come, take a seat.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He clapped and a legion of waiters already brought them over to a pretty damn fancy table...at the very edge of the party. Figures. Cobblepot didn’t even bother sitting with them. Still, he was at least a….patient host. So he might as well ask some questions while the “ex”-crime lord was there.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Soooo, Cobblepot. Swanky place you have here. Really the jewel of the town huh? So I gotta ask,” Some casual conversation might lighten the mood. Give him some more layout of the land. “How’d ya nab such prime real estate?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cobblepot actually adjusted himself proudly after the question. This was definitely a crowning moment for him; Jackpot, Zenigata. “It’s quite the bloody epic tale Inspector. The Lounge was once a bar owned by my ol’ grandparents back during the first world war, iceberg and all. Bought a crappy bathhouse, added some damn good decor and they made this place a bloody success. Real good side gig for their plastic business. When my poor parents got it though, bloody thing went to the Waynes after me mum and pop died as a token of “good will”. ‘Course, when the Waynes died and it was left to ol’ Bruce, he and I made a deal that if I went big, I’d have it. Thing is, that Wayne’s a tricky bastard, left no room for honest business. So after a little...agreement, it was the Cobblepot’s once more! Fixed the place right up.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zenigata read the file: he got the lounge back off of mob money and a series of absolutely illegal loopholes. Epic tale. Baloney. But might as well laugh with the guy and pretend to give him the satisfaction of being impressed. Better than Bullock’s half-assed snort, at least.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I gotta say Cobblepot, that’s a damn fine story.” He did a little table bang for show, to show how incredibly interested he was. “You really beat ‘em out huh! Honest to God, you’re far better than I thought. Now, between us three, I gotta ask...is that really the original iceberg?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Keep it rolling Zenigata. The Penguin’ll say something eventually to give him a lead. “Wegheheh, my you’re quite the goddamn talker aren’t ya? Fine I’ll tell ya pinheads the truth about them….’course it's the real goddamn thing!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cobblepot limped over to the iceberg and gave it a firm slap. “Even when the Wayne bastards had it it’s been cooled perfectly. Even on the hottest damn day’s it never melted; thing’s tougher than me, weghehe! So special this baby’s got its own bloody pipes, been here for decades!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Its own pipes eh? Then judging by how old it is, its pipes probably are a part of the older system meaning...nah...although, maybe...maybe he should ask-</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>
    <em>HONK HONK!</em>
  </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Immediately his train of thought was interrupted by a car horn. One of the goons ran in, huffing. “W-we have guests sir. It’s-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well well well, if it isn’t Cobblepot! Haven’t seen you in a good minute!” And there he was, one of the most powerful men in America. A billionaire playboy, owner of one of the world’s largest tech companies, and a hero after his own heart; Bruce Wayne. “How’re you doing!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cobblepot looked actually stunned for the first time in their entire conversation. Of course, he quickly replaced that with a toothy grin. “Ahaha, Wayne! I wasn’t sure if ya’d even come ya bloody devil!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The two slapped their arms together like old pals, going into a deep embrace; bit strange considering all they’ve done to each other over the years. Zenigata understood it though; after years of chasing Lupin he came to respect the punk. Even if he was a pain in the-</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh MAN, and I was so confident I was the first to arrive.” Wayne spotted the two and strolled on over. As he got closer Zenigata realized just how distant the two men were. Wayne’s suit looked incredibly well made, every detail custom tailored. His face never, for a second, was unconfident. This was the look and attitude of one rich fella. “Detective Bullock, and, I gotta say, you’re that ICPO guy aren’t ya? Inspector…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Zenigata, sir.” He saluted on instinct, to which Wayne only laughed. “Apologies, we were just hear for-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sit down, down, all of ya bloody...pals.” Cobblepot sure was quick to change the conversation. Probably didn’t want to freak out the guests, save face. He’s seen the type before, never worked out in these situations. “Anyway, the two of youse, scram. Now as for you Wayne, how’s business?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, you know, usual, we recently-” Right, Zenigata knew he wasn’t going to get anywhere like this. Looks like the two of them had to play the long game.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And long it friggin’ was. For the next 15 minutes, absolutely no one else wandered through the door. No important talks between the two rich folk, no mention of any secrets. Nothin’ but empty conversation and decent appetizers. He waved away his third plate of shrimp; this was mighty weird. But this gave him time to think.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>For one, this was an old building. Cobblepot himself said so. The pipes were, like he thought before, definitely part of the older system. He read the Gotham file: the old sewers ran everywhere, with no security. Prime area for Lupin to use. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey, Bullock.” He whispered, quiet. “Send a message to the boys, get most of them out of here, towards any entrances to the old sewer. If Lupin’s comin’, he’ll sure as hell use that.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bullock scowled, shoving another piece of bread into his mouth. “Not the best move: Killer Croc just squirmed his way into them earlier today. He’s in a real bloodthirsty move too; one of my guy’s shot him in the eye. I’ll have some people stake out near some manholes. Central Gotham’s littered with ‘em.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ouch, but that actually could prove useful. Not even Lupin was dumb enough to mess with a super. Still...those old pipes…”Bullock, you know this city well. What’s plumbin’ like for these kind old buildings?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, I ain’t a goddamn plumber, but I know some of its...quirks. Back when the city was built, they made most of the waterwork first. Storm drains, standard crapper pipes, things like that. Thing is, halfway through makin’ some houses, they forgot to, you know, separate the storm and sewer canal. So a lotta these central places, like this, kinda just dump everything in the sewers. I mean know its all fixed, but there’s half a dozen useless storm drains slapped around after they finally fixed everythin’. Good for sniffin’ out idiots who toss evidence down there, at least.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Right.” So judging by that and Cobblepot’s tale about the place, the Lounge’s original state still had that big fountain of water, although that was a “bath” at the time. That meant that it operated off older piping, which meant that it connected straight to...that’s it! That’s how that damn Lupin was gonna get in! “Detective, I wanna take a brief look at the iceberg for a moment.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sure, I’ll humor ya.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When they walked over Zenigata immediately noticed the small fountains in the pool. From where they were sitting earlier, they were basically unseen. Here, he could spot them bubbling instantly. With all this water, and the need to circulate it...aha! The drain. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Definitely large for a typical drain: it’s diameter was basically man sized, though the grate it had was definitely new. Made sense. What didn’t was the iceberg. It was massive, and chilly, sure. At first glance you wouldn’t think much of it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But there were a few weird factors. For one, how the hell did such a small iceberg last since the first damn world war in such pristine condition? Every curve was perfect: no part seemed like it was worn down from time. There was water splashed onto it sure, but only certain areas had a reasonable amount of it. With it being right under, looking up, a sky light...it should have some noticeable melting areas by now.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And going back to size, even for a smaller iceberg, the damn thing was the size of a small house. That wouldn’t be easy to transport; technology at the time definitely wouldn’t keep this thing so cool and pristine. Hmmm… “Bullock, this iceberg’s always been here right?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yep. As a kid I remember seein’ this thing in the paper for some crappy shindig or something...you thinkin’ about something?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, it’s just a theory. But maybe if I just reach out a bit…” He had to touch the iceberg. He just had to test this theory-</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>
    <em>CRASH! BRAKA BRAKA BRAKA!</em>
  </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They immediately ducked down when a posse of black and white clothed men stormed in, guns assaulting the ceiling. Behind them, shoved around with guns to their backs were around a half dozen of their forces, and some of Cobblepot’s. Damn! </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“The hell is going on here?!” Immediately Cobblepot stood up to fearlessly (or well, stupidly) approach the armed posse. “What do you bloody idiots think you’re doin’!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>
    <em>Cling, Cling, Cling!</em>
  </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, Cobblepot Cobblepot Cobblepot.” That voice, that noise. Zenigata listened to enough files to know that anywhere. The scarred man of Gotham, another one of the Four Kingpins of Crime. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A hero turned bastard; Harvey Dent aka Two-Face. The disfigured crime lord had the widest grin as he approached his former rival.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Goddamn it Dent! I bloody told you, don’t-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ssssh sssh ssssh. I know. You’re already apologizin’ to the better boss, it’s all damn good Cobblepot. But, let’s cut to the damn chase, yeah?” Immediately he smacked Cobblepot away with a black-gloved fist. “I’ve been gettin’ reaaaal sick of tired of you claimin’ you were the best in town even after you became “clean”. Bullshitting one lie for another, as if that made you a goddamn hero.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Dent, I-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Shut it! Shut it.” Dent laughed and whipped out a pistol. “Don’t even fucking try on me, bird. Tonight, you shut up unless you’re goddamn asked. Now, you two. Get the cops-Hoho, what have we here?!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zenigata didn’t dare resist when the two goons came over; they were outgunned, and outnumbered. Playing prisoner for now was his best bet if everyone was to make it out alive. But things were looking…complicated. Especially with the seething look a certain billionaire received. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Bruce Wayne?! My god, I came in to humiliate this fat bastard and steal his shitty treasure but, you, you being here, Wayne.” He laughed hard, like a hyena that just caught its prey. “It’s just icing on the goddamn cake.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Wayne, for his part, looked surprisingly unfazed. “Two-Face. You know, and here I thought the slimest thing I’d see tonight was the main course. Didn’t think your horrible mug would show up.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You, you, bastard!” Dent instantly pistol-whipped Wayne’s shoulder, causing him to buckle to the floor. “How DARE you insult me like that you jackass. I expected BETTER from you...forget it! Forget it! I’ll handle you later.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He turned the barrel towards Cobblepot, who was weakly attempting to crawl away. “The Arctic Gem. Where is it, lard-ass?!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Go to hell, skinhead-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Interesting as the scene of one criminal pummeling the other was, something bothered him about that earlier confrontation. From what he knew, Dent and Wayne were good friends prior to the accident that turned Dent into Two-Face. Better friends than him and Cobblepot, that’s for sure. In all known interactions Wayne was polite to Two-Face, asking for him to change. So why the sudden name calling? Why not use his real name?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Because what if this Wayne didn’t know the relationship between the two? He, in his rush to get the Arctic Gem, didn’t do enough research to know how much Wayne and Cobblepot were rivals, and how close he was to Dent despite probably gaining his attention in the first place. There was only one man with that kind of gall. And he was-</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Heeeeey, you’re looking for this thing, right?” Craning his head he saw Wayne standing triumphantly on top of the iceberg. Clutched in his hand, as he suspected, the Arctic Gem itself. The guards looking over the hostages were baffled at his appearance up there. “Hope you don’t mind if I take it, I’ve got a bit of a thing for gems like these~”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“WAYNE! The </span>
  <b>
    <em>hell </em>
  </b>
  <span>are you doing?!” That fool Dent pointed his pistol over. “Drop. The Goddamn Gem. NOW.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Tsk tsk, have you really not realized it yet ugly? Do I have to spell it out for you~? Much as I’d love to be some sappy playboy, you may better know me as-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That flick of the wrist, those clothes and mask flying off in a whirl. This was </span>
  <b>
    <em>him. </em>
  </b>
  <span>That lousy, rotten, good for nothing bastard…</span>
</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <b>
    <em>LUPIIIIIIN!”</em>
  </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oy oy Pops, took you long enough!” Lupin the Third was a MASTER of disguise. It’s true, really, he loved telling people about it. No man or woman could ever beat him at it, he was just too good. So when he saw that lovely chance to play around as the rich guy in town, why not? All's fair in Gotham City, especially when you’re good at it! “I was almost worried you forgot about me~!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He grinned nice and wide when he saw that goofy looking Two-Face absolutely lose it. “Hey buddy, I thought you just had a purple half, not a red one! Might wanna get that checked out!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How, how did you?!” Oh man and that Penguin guy looked so confused too! Man this was the best part of his job. “How did you take it from me?!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Seriously? The whole friendship thing, how the hell did you not notice?” Lupin sat his perfect ass down on the iceberg. Yep, this was the life. Seeing idiots lose their minds over the oldest trick in the book. “I took the gem, your wallet, and I would’ve taken you deodorant too if you actually used any.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He looked up. Nope, wasn’t there yet. Looks like he had to stall for a bit more. “Anyway, nice place you got here by the way, if it wasn’t for the goons, crappy fish and you two idiots I’d actually get dinner here! But you know what they say about dining to places you don’t know-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>
    <em>BANG! </em>
  </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Woah woah woah! He leapt up when a bullet hit near his foot. Wow that was close, nearly fumbled the gem off there! “Hey, that’s no way to treat a guest!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Oooh, Facey was foaming at the mouth, definitely a good sign. “SHUT. UP! I’ve spent my GODDAMN life being better, ten times goddamn better than schmucks like you! Huh?! Think you’re a bigshot just cause you’re the new thief in town?! Newsflash, a monkey like you has no chance against-STOP THAT!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Man, that speech was so boring Lupin didn’t even realize he was mocking him. Villains these days, all dumb boring speeches and no fun. “Aw, my bad, you know, weren’t you like, a public speaker or something? Sounds more like a damn recording to me. I mean seriously, how can you goons work with him?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hah, they actually started thinking about it! Never change, stupid goons, never change. Two-Face snarled at him and moved in. Yeah, that was a biiiit too close. “Listen BUSTER. You want to survive with your head intact? Bring me the goddamn gem and I’ll leave ya off with </span>
  <b>
    <em>just </em>
  </b>
  <span>crippled knees.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Lupin looked up and grinned. Right on time. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You know what, sounds like a good deal pal!” Hah, that look! He tossed him the gem, causing the poor villain to fumble to catch it. “Oh hey, and to make this official, I’ve got a man of the law coming too! You’re a  lawyer or whatever right? I’m sure you will get along with-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>
    <em>CRASH!</em>
  </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A shadow smashed into the skylight, shattering it into bits and pieces all around him. That dramatic entrance, the flowing cape, that snarl! Man, Gotham was a real riot sometimes. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Batman! You guys are friends, right? Soooo, I gotta go, you know!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’VE HAD IT! SHOOT! SHOOT EVERYONE GODDAMN IT!” The moment the goons fired away that masked vigilante instantly ran in. Bullets flying everywhere, a batarang, or whatever it was called, smashing knocking away guns! Fists slamming into skulls! Two Face running away like a coward!</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A real good show, but Lupin had places to be you know! Out of his pocket came something looking like a ballpoint pen: a handy detonator! He clicked it and-</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“LUPIIIIIIIN!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“P-pops!” Should’ve seen it coming! Even in a massive gunfight that golden inspector was still after him! He lept onto the iceberg, handcuffs whipped out. “Maybe save this for another time yeah?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hahah! Not a chance Lupin! I’ve got you now!-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>
    <em>KA…..KOOOOW!</em>
  </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Might wanna save that fought pops, because we’re going on a-” An explosion rocked beneath them, shattering the foundation of the pool into bits. The two of them clutched on for dear life as the iceberg smashed its way into the now open sewer below. But that wasn’t all! Because, detonating right next to where they landed...the local water pipe! “WILD RIDEEEEEEE AYE YAI YAIIIII!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The iceberg the moment it hit the rapids SPED with it without any hesitation! The top half of it, too small for the tunnel, was literally ripped into little, hard shreds that were grinded in a really just, awful noise. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“WOA WOA WOA!” Pops sure looked like he was having fun though! He gripped onto the edge of the iceberg as hard as he could. “W-WALL, WALL!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Yep, that was a damn wall alright! Okay, okay, time for something dangerous! Lupin held out his wrist and clicked his lucky watch: BOOM! A thin, yet strong iron cable attached itself to the wall. “P-Pops gonna need some help here!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Thank God he wasn’t stupid: With his free hand, he and the inspector pulled onto the cable (or well, Lupin’s arm) as hard as they could. Even with such meager force, it was enough to barely make the turn! </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Shards of the iceberg that didn’t make the turn smashed against their faces. Zenigata grinned. “So it was plastic! Knew it! Then this-Wait. Lupin!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He looked to where Zenigata was pointing. Yeah, that was the main exit! Hah, that was faster than he-Oh. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Oh. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“YOU THOUGHT YOU COULD ESCAPE FROM ME?!?” Seriously?! This Two Face guy did NOT give up. He already had enough of that crap! He and a small handful of his men were crowded around the entrance, guns ready. “DIE! DIE!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Come on come on, they should be here! Don’t be stupid and just waiting in the damn bushes, come out all-</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>
    <em>SCHLINK!</em>
  </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Finally! As the posse attempted to fire, their guns exploded into bits and pieces! In their stupid confusion, they hardly realized their goofy outfits followed suit! Only Two-Face survived with much of a suit intact...as if that mattered!</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“HOLD ONTO YOUR HAT! WAAAAAHAHAHOOOO!” Lupin cackled as the iceberg came crashing out of the sewer. The plastic heap slammed into most of the goons, scattering the rest. The impact as they smashed into the muddy ground caused Zenigata to fly off! “Thanks for the ride, Pops!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Whooo, that was a rush. Lupin looked around as he took a breather: all the goons were down, Zenigata was face first in some mud, and...there’s Goemon! He was standing at the edge of the sewer, sheathing his sword.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thanks Go-Go!” Ah, that funny scowl. Well, while they waited for their ride outta here, might as well see if his theory was right. All that research on the Cobblepot family, all that dumb planning, time to see if all of it was worth it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Lupin got up, and went to the top of the plastic iceberg. It was hollow, several layers thick sure, but hollow. But that wasn’t the fun part. No, the fun part was the massive, glistening gem snuggly placed in. Hohoho, thank you for waiting, oh beautiful Arctic Gem! He pulled it out, surprised by the blue thing’s massive weight. This’ll sell for a fortune-</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s, that’s impossible!” Two-Face, dripping wet, suit torn to shreds and looking like a drowned rat, weakly held a knife up. “That’s that’s-...but how?!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, I did some research, ol Facey. See, the Cobblepot family was rich, nasty rich back in World War One. Plastic was the new thing, and they were one of the best makers of it. So why not go on a cruise! Head to the Arctic for a fun expedition! That’s what they thought when they found this baby. Well, not this actually. The one you have….riiight there.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The villain glanced at his pocket, where the jewel was nestled. “So?!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So, what do you do when you find one beautiful gem? You mine for more.” Lupin placed the hefty thing down; the gem was a pain on the back. “A friend of mine found their ship records: they brought plenty of mining equipment with them. More than you’d need for a little thing like that, ey? So we figured, there had to be more, right? Enter this bad boy. The iceberg~”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He smacked it a bit. “When you’re a plastic company, something like a fake iceberg is easy. Make it cold, add some water. You hide something in there, and no one would ever know. And they didn’t. Probably meant it for some emergency or when they got even more filthy rich but, hey, hindsights twenty-twenty right-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“ENOUGH!” Ooooh Lupin didn’t like that look. Of course, Goemon was nearby but..he had a little idea. He held his hand up to keep the samurai away. Two-Face didn’t even care though. “Give me the DAMN gem or-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey, you’re a fan of coin flips right? How about we make a deal?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Bingo</span>
  </em>
  <span>. There was the one, very reason why he asked Fujiko, oh lovely Fujiko, get this idiot involved. The coin flip. It was that guy’s real passion huh, leaving everything to luck? Lupin respected the hell out of that. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Two-Face snarled and whipped out the coin. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Fine. </span>
  </em>
  <span>What’s your damn terms?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hmmm, well lets see, I win, I get both gems, walk away free, and we have a nice day away from each other. And if you win?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“...I’ll kill you, take the gems and make sure your cronies never leave Gotham alive.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Extreme, but acceptable.” He had faith. Even in that twisted, double headed silver dollar. This was gonna work out juuust fine. “All right then. You gonna flip it~?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Just shut up and...” And there that coin went. Flipping into the air as high as a coin could possibly go. “Call it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Scratch. No Scratch. Scratch. No Scratch...with that speed, and the American style of coin flipping…</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Scratch!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Two Face snagged it in his palm and slammed it down. The moment of truth...it was…</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Scratch. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Lucky son of a bitch…” Two-Face instantly put down his knife: just as planned, he wouldn’t dare go against the coin. “Fine. Fine! You fuckin’ win. Now, scram. Take your winnings, bastard.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I will. Thank you for that famous...Gotham Hospitality.” Heh. Gotham Hospitality. Still, looks like everything turned out juuuust fine. Goemon hopped down from his perch and walked with him. It’d be a bit of a walk to the car, especially with this heavy gem. “So, Goemon, your thoughts on Gotham?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Goemon looked back for a moment with that usual, stoic look. No emotion, no fear, just said a simple sentence. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I never want to come here again.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Whatta guy, huh?</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
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